My oh so poetic poetry

More thoughts from me.... comments appreciated! 

Misery loves company and three's a crowd, so I'll sit this one out.


Feel every drop of rain as a lost soul
trying to regain life, within your life
Feel every ray of sun collecting those drops,
recycling their experience
along with what they have learnt from you
See the meaning as brightly as a fire
burning within the dark dwellings of a cave.
See how those drops nourished
the garden you tend to, that of your soul.
Remember the earth you tend
will no longer be yours once you are gone.
Remember that you as well are but a drop
in the gardens of those you nourish.

"People won't lie about the world being a hard place, but they will make you think you can't change that"   - A.K.-

Give me a brick wall to smash my head against... I'm feeling tired and depressed and as if there are so many things I could accomplish if only I could get going... I started a sculpture yesterday.... a bust with barbed wire cominf out of the neck and the breast are all spikes... I dont think im going to manage to get the final product that I want but im still going to try...Ill alter it as I go along...I always do...Ijsut wish I could only work on my art... but I need to go to school.... lol the fines arts program is the biggest joke at the collegiate level ... come on... what are they grading us on....? its kinda sad that I can fail a sculpture class because I made too many french mistakes in the analysis....  besides most of us are going to go into other fields afterwards something to get us jobs... so that we can support ourselves...I still have no clue what thats gonna be for me....... so many projects no times to do them in... and im not talking about those for school ... those I just dont really want to do ... sure they are interesting... but the limitation kinda stiffle the creativity... ive come in with great ideas but havent able to do them because they are "controversial" or interfear with the main objective..... bwahhhhhhh I dont like it ... I feel like a child throwing a tantrumm..... arent I ?   no credibility, no determintation no uinderstanding.... nothing worth while..... nothing worth their while anyways.... they arent worth mine.... but oh the limitations... the things we must do to get along in this social structure.... pffffff....... what a waste.... 

I feel naive. Lately I’ve been wondering about what makes people who they are. What defines me? What defines you? I feel like a child trying to understand how the world can be so big. Is it odd that I expect honesty? Is it not right that I want the people I love to earn my respect even more than those I meet in passing? Is it mean to expect people to act with integrity? Is it wrong for me to ask the world to be what it can be? For all of us? For me? I feel integrity should be inherent in all of your being. I feel respect is something that grows from seeing the integrity others have and wanting to mirror it. I think it’s right for me to ask the world to accomplish, as long as I ask myself to do the same. What I feel defines me, what I think defines me, the things I truly believe define me. I am naive, but I am aware. 
    
 *It’s not WHO you are but THAT you are that limits you. All that means is that there are no limits, no excuses. Be*
Anna

 Ive posted this one before but recent event have brought it to my attention... and althoug it seems a little "out there" and possibly a little confusing, perhaps self-righteous, I feel those who are meant to understand it will... so here you go , enjoy. Be indigo. 

 We are the tainted everyone dresses in white, we are those who don’tspeak words unless they’re wise, and to the wise we tell not to speak. We are the lives we live for many, we are the eyes to those who refuse to see. We are the path to those who are lost. We lose ourselves to let them gain. We feel it all but feel nothing at all. Numbing the pain to allow the gain, to the blind, to the lost, to those who need to be saved, to save, to show that there is something to know.

     We are the tainted dressed in white, saviours to those who cannot know, cannot see. Our lives are lived by moonlight hidden in our dreams, daylight calls to sacrifice the lives we shall not lead. Give to one then give to all and give it all away, maybe once im lost and blind they’ll give it back to me. Tainted is our way of life and we don’t ask for more, we see how it must be, we’ve been through it all before.

Begining of a new piece, trying to undestand. I'd apreciate insight on this one.

 As the torn raw flesh stings I slowly begin to feel it,
crawling down my spine and seeping,
spreading rapidly through my whole body,
and then relief.
It doesn't sting anymore.
My mind begins to slow, my thoughts begin to change,
it isn't all that bad. I can focus again.
Carefully where no one will see
I break the skin again,
I scratch just a little too hard,
running my nails over the same spot until the blood
is so near the skin it almost seeps through the pores.
And then I stop.
Just enough
so my body reacts but not
enough to scar.
Try not to get carried away.
Tending to the new wounds
making sure they won't show.
 And then they find out.
Now they know.
Have to stop scratching, cutting.
And then they ask me why?.
"Because it helps"

Here is a link to a blog my mom made about my little brother's fight wih cancer.  Ironically called simon's recovery updates, Ironically because my little brother passed away in july. Although physicaly he didn't recover from cancer, some could say that his ordeal helped his soul to recover.

 http://kellersaner.spaces.live.com/default.aspx?owner=1" title="http://kellersaner.spaces.live.com/default.aspx?owner=1" target="_blank"http://kellersaner.spaces.liv...

toodles Anna

 

I watch my mind splinter as I try to understand the pieces of myself I hold in my hand.

If they fit together the how and then the why when did I begin to shatter what did I pass by.

The time the rythm the rhyme the way you twist the words spinning from emotion, the kind that really hurts.

I think I'd cry if only I could
give me a reason as if you think
I should
tears from my eyes
sacrifice
to nothing
the pain I do not feel
in the end it's all the same
nothing's really real.