My oh so poetic poetry

So sorry I haven't posted in a while busy making jewelry to sell at the town fair and restricted internet access..... anyhoo... enjoy munchkins! Because a soft touch drew out a whisper "I love you" and the whisper shed a tear and the tear broke a heart of stone, to be loved and then forgotten to forget how to love. To chose to be alone to save another. To be another to be loved, I wish I could tell you all the things that are wrong I wish I could tell you all my fears, all those tears I cry when you arent here and why I shed the ones I do when you are. The fear of losing you the fear of being lost, afraid that you wont want me, afraid that I will break afraid that you will break me, afraid that I will fall .... afraid that you will let me fall... afraid that I wont know how to stand alone, afraid of alone. Afraid of afraid of alone when I cant be together, pieces so scared... so scarred... how dare you make it better how can you make me love you when I know that you wont last. You cant promise me eternity, you cant even promise tomorrow, I'd rather know you'll break my heart that a promise you couldnt follow Don't make promises you cant keep in your arms I want to fall asleep and wake and fall and break and grow and love and share and know I want you to be my world, I give you my heart, I share my soul... bound forever in this lifetime, in our growing old. You holding my hand and I holding yours.

Indigo is the color of my soul, sometimes it makes me cry, but mostly it makes me smile.

COmments? 

I dream of people I don’t know, who’s faces my mind refuses to show,
 till your standing right in front of me reaching for my hand.
Shedding tears like a layer of skin, softness from what’s hidden within Sand,
wear away the fears I hide from my inside till it all runs out.
How can I know you’re mine when it’s the first time we meet.
stand by your side till you realise I am yours to be.
Memories of our could be tomorrow, the could be laughter and the maybe sorrow.
A little hand a broken smile, how we might end just a short while.
A possible truth. The possibility to choose? Wait and see.

Because a little bit of misery reminds me of what I thought the world would be,
because I drown out the memories of the things I used to feel
because I blast away those thoughts with a melody of misery
because happy is something I am hidding from
because happy will make me what I want to become
and then happy will leave me when I realise I have none
and once I stand alone and look back on what I was once told
I can see your face,
I can feel your eyes
crying
for a chance to make me smile something I refuse
because it will make me belong to you
and I dont know if I can I dont know if you want me
if it is real I cant tell
if its a lie, how you feel, how you say you love me
without words
with those eyes that scream for
a moment alone in my heart
where you long to be
where you want me to see
that its you that makes me
who I need to be but
that version of me
scares me.

Here's a poem I just jotted down... the first line flitted through my head and the rest followed... Let me know what you think. what it made you think?...

Look through the eyes the world gave you. then try and look through mine,
you'll see the pieces that are hurting, hurt inside everyone.
Then you can understand,
why people hold hands,
why they tell each other,
that they can stay together.
Heal a little hurt.
Tend to the heart.
Won't be torn appart, 'till they grow that way.
Hold my hand so carefully giving what you'd like to take,
then learn to hold your own, so you can still stand when I break.
Heal your little hurt.
Take good care of your heart.
You never know how suddenly, your world falls appart.
Listen to my words, how sweet and soft they sound, then listen to your own.
Can you even love me? Do you even know? You see now my words sound empty, because yours are so.
Heal your little hurt.
Take good care of your heart.
Meaningless words you say, slowly tear me appart.
Look through the eyes the world gave you, then try and look through mine,
you'll see the pieces that are hurting, hurt inside everyone.
Then you can understand,
why people hold hands,
why they tell each other,
that they can stay together,
Heal a little hurt,
Tend to the hear,
Won't be torn appart, untill we grow that way.
you never know how suddenly our world can fall appart,
meaningless words you say, slowly tear me appart.

A.K.

umm.... random poem first jot.... let me know what you think....

I don’t need your excuses,
what I needed was you.
You said I could count on you,
you said I could hold on to you
but you let go of me.
When I shattered you got scared,
I knew better but I let you care.
And I let myself fall.
I was broken
you were gone
everything right
was horribly wrong.
It would have been ok
why did you have to say
I could count on you,
I could hold on to you,
if you were gonna let me go.
All I asked for was the truth
and you gave me a lie.
I understand you couldn’t know
the way that things would go.
I warned you not make
promises I knew you’d break.
Still I believed your words
and now it really hurts.
To think that I believed
promises that weren’t yours to keep.
I knew better but I let you care,
I shattered and you got scared.
Now that its over you are here
And I’m trying to make it clear.
I wanted you to prove me wrong
but I needed you and you were gone.
I don’t want your excuses
what I wanted was you.
Now I see that it’s no use,
even though I wish I could,
I just can’t count on you.

Yay censorship!...

Save me from reality,
don't let me see.
don't let me know
don't let it show.
"I'll show you how to live, then take away the lie. not much use am I?"

pretty pictures of shadows made with light, what's behind the screen remains to be seen.

More thoughts from me.... comments appreciated! 

Misery loves company and three's a crowd, so I'll sit this one out.


Feel every drop of rain as a lost soul
trying to regain life, within your life
Feel every ray of sun collecting those drops,
recycling their experience
along with what they have learnt from you
See the meaning as brightly as a fire
burning within the dark dwellings of a cave.
See how those drops nourished
the garden you tend to, that of your soul.
Remember the earth you tend
will no longer be yours once you are gone.
Remember that you as well are but a drop
in the gardens of those you nourish.

"People won't lie about the world being a hard place, but they will make you think you can't change that"   - A.K.-

Give me a brick wall to smash my head against... I'm feeling tired and depressed and as if there are so many things I could accomplish if only I could get going... I started a sculpture yesterday.... a bust with barbed wire cominf out of the neck and the breast are all spikes... I dont think im going to manage to get the final product that I want but im still going to try...Ill alter it as I go along...I always do...Ijsut wish I could only work on my art... but I need to go to school.... lol the fines arts program is the biggest joke at the collegiate level ... come on... what are they grading us on....? its kinda sad that I can fail a sculpture class because I made too many french mistakes in the analysis....  besides most of us are going to go into other fields afterwards something to get us jobs... so that we can support ourselves...I still have no clue what thats gonna be for me....... so many projects no times to do them in... and im not talking about those for school ... those I just dont really want to do ... sure they are interesting... but the limitation kinda stiffle the creativity... ive come in with great ideas but havent able to do them because they are "controversial" or interfear with the main objective..... bwahhhhhhh I dont like it ... I feel like a child throwing a tantrumm..... arent I ?   no credibility, no determintation no uinderstanding.... nothing worth while..... nothing worth their while anyways.... they arent worth mine.... but oh the limitations... the things we must do to get along in this social structure.... pffffff....... what a waste.... 

I feel naive. Lately I’ve been wondering about what makes people who they are. What defines me? What defines you? I feel like a child trying to understand how the world can be so big. Is it odd that I expect honesty? Is it not right that I want the people I love to earn my respect even more than those I meet in passing? Is it mean to expect people to act with integrity? Is it wrong for me to ask the world to be what it can be? For all of us? For me? I feel integrity should be inherent in all of your being. I feel respect is something that grows from seeing the integrity others have and wanting to mirror it. I think it’s right for me to ask the world to accomplish, as long as I ask myself to do the same. What I feel defines me, what I think defines me, the things I truly believe define me. I am naive, but I am aware. 
    
 *It’s not WHO you are but THAT you are that limits you. All that means is that there are no limits, no excuses. Be*
Anna